Rechecking my assumptions
A graduate of the University of Toronto, Trevor Hutchinson is a songwriter, writer and bookkeeper. He serves as Contributing Editor at The Lindsay Advocate. He lives with his fiancee and their five kids in Lindsay.
A year ago in this space I opined how February was the worst month of the year and that it sucks beyond measure. I know this to still be the undisputed gospel truth.
But my recent Christmas column made more than a few readers really, really angry. Some said really, really mean things about me, and because I am so ‘woke,’ I have spent the better part of 2023 in tears. I can barely be sarcastic anymore, what with the constant pain of criticism.
But every problem is just a hidden solution, as they say (or at least motivational poster freaks say that). With a chin up attitude, I decided to re-examine any previous controversial takes to see, God forbid, if I had perhaps missed some nuance, or gasp, an opposing view. No matter that an opinion column is just that — one take from one idiot on one day and it needn’t be balanced.
But I have been privileged to write in this space since April 2019 and I have touched on more than a few topics. With plenteous tears that could drown the world (to paraphrase Shakespeare), I flipped through paper copies of the Advocate, just to double check.
My take on climate change? Nah it’s real, it’s happening and we will make the planet uninhabitable if we don’t change our ways. So that one’s good.
What about my several statements saying that today’s Conservative party is really just the Reform Party and great progressive conservatives like Leslie Frost would not recognize it? Again, that’s pretty clear. Even a gymnast couldn’t find a beam that balanced.
There were of course a few COIVD-related pieces. Nothing to walk back here, folks: COVID is real, vaccines work and the freedumbers weren’t truckers and the hot tubs had little to do with COVID.
How about my claim that raisins are the devil’s work and don’t belong in a butter tart? No, that checks out. That is past fact. It’s possibly scripture.
But then I got to my February 2022 column, which was a straight-out, full-on attack on the month itself. I’m clearly biased, but the piece made several amazing and irrefutable arguments. (It’s worth a Google if you happened to miss it.)
But, and I am more than ashamed to admit this, I totally missed Extraterrestrial Culture Day. Somewhat fortuitously, it lands this year on Feb. 14. (I’ve always thought Feb 14 deserved a special occasion.) As probably everyone knows, Extraterrestrial Culture Day celebrates and honours all past, present, and future extraterrestrial visitors. To those of us who have spent any time living with someone who is seemingly from another world, this day is sacred. It should have been weighed against the cold, bills, depression and weird spelling of February.
And for that I would like to sincerely, and without reservation, apologize. All I can do is to try harder. And wish everyone a most joyous Extraterrestrial Culture Day.
Thanks Trevor! Your column is my favorite opinion piece, anytime, anywhere!
I now live on Vancouver Island where, if we’re lucky, February is the season of cherry, rhododendron, and camellia blossoms after two months of gloom and rain. But in another lifetime I worked in community journalism in the City of Kawartha Lakes so I understand your views on February or, as one of my colleagues called it, ‘Farch!, (always punctuated with that exclamation). I recall February as the month Kawartha Lakers cease caring about appearances, stomping around supermarkets unshaven in snowmobile boots, salt-stained, unkempt hair standing straight up, uncut since before Christmas. This in stark contrast to those lucky and wealthy enough to escape to Mexico, or wherever, from where they return smiling, tanned, well-groomed and smug. February was also the month when those inclined to conspiracy theories would arrive at the office (do newspapers even have offices anymore?) frantically waving documented ‘truth’, pounding my desk, and demanding I print it. When I declined, I became part of the conspiracy. My advice? Stay on the sunny side of the street.
Hey folks take it easy on Feb. Today I celebrate my 81st birthday,& consider myself fortunate to be born in the year’s shortest month. Thanks to the brevity of said same Feb., we have only 46 days till Spring. Additionally, we have Dalton to thank for Family Day,, Valentine’s Day, Shrove (Pancake) Tuesday, & Ash Wednesday. And as a part time Catholic lad, I’d be remiss if I did not mention today is the Feast of St. Blais, my patron saint. What a great month to remember, after a January I thought would never end!
Keep up the great writing Trevor. Love your humour and always look forward to your opinions!