Humming the melody to “I’m going to wash that man right out of my hair,” I waited for decluttering specialist Allana Lytle from HowSimpleOrganizing.com to arrive. Recently separated and an empty nester, I was finally ready to let go of years of accumulated stuff cluttering my family home. 

To be frank, I’m messy. When I don’t have a place to put something, I do one of three things: haphazardly stuff it into a drawer or cupboard, hide it in the basement or, most commonly, let it sit and become invisible to me.

Allana, on the other hand, has the willpower and skill to dive into debris and literally make it go away. This is what I needed, not just from a mess perspective, but emotionally as well. “Decluttering is a physical metaphor for opening up, and make space for something new,” Allana explains to me as she gives me the ground rules for a successful purge.

The toughest part of clearing out years of accumulation is having the inner fortitude to let stuff go. By that she means being okay letting go of material things that may have emotional significance but are no longer useful. This is where hiring a professional declutterer is key, providing a calm, objective voice to guide you through an effective purge. “It’s an intimate experience,” Allana tells me. “You get to know pretty quickly what your clients’ triggers are.”

Allana chose the kitchen to start. The first step in her decluttering process is removing every single item out of drawers, cupboards and off shelves, categorize by creating “like with like” piles on a large area like a kitchen table or the floor. 

After hours of emptying and sorting, I was called in to make executive decisions. It became painfully clear to her (and me) that I was a chronic cupboard stuffer and semi-hoarder. 

I was horrified to see how much I had accumulated over the years. I mean, who needs a dozen serving platters when I barely entertain?

She gave me four choices: keep, donate, sell, or toss. She pointed at a piece, then I decided. 

When I wavered, she’d ask me “do you REALLY need this?” With her gentle prodding, my “keep” pile become the tiniest of the four. After wiping down every storage surface, she methodically reorganized each drawer and shelf, bagged the rest, and immediately removed it from my house. 

I felt weight lifting off my shoulders as I took in my half-empty kitchen, excited to tackle the next cluttered space.

We headed to my equally disorganized bathroom, where I confessed to Alanna why I avoid purging alone. When faced with mess, I freeze, procrastinate and avoid. Alanna tells me this is not uncommon. Her advice? Baby steps. Start small to avoid overwhelm. Set a timer for 30 minutes and tackle one drawer. Empty it, sort like with like, (come on -- how many light pink lipsticks do you need?) and decide what you absolutely must keep, or choose to donate, sell, or toss immediately. It will feel freeing when you re-organize your pared down drawer, now easy to find and use what you’ve kept. Allana promised the process becomes more intuitive as you go. “You get in a groove and realize what you are gaining outweighs the stuff you are giving up.”

A few days into working together, Alanna pinpointed my emotional trigger. While it’s easy for me to dispose of kitchen gadgets, books, and kitschy gifts, I find it painful to part with my memories – boxes of photos, career mementoes, anything related to my kids, and assorted emotional ephemera.

After pulling out yet another large plastic tote overflowing with every piece of my kids’ homework over 20 years, Allana pointed out that “if you keep everything, then nothing is special.” Oof. That hit my heart. She was right. I dove into the box and ditched a ton of math quizzes and ripped artwork, keeping the storytelling projects for my kids to go through one day. 

Decluttering my home was a long process. I learned a lot while she rifled through my possessions and helped me clear space, both emotionally and physically, for my next chapter.  

She reminded me that decluttering my home wasn’t just to my benefit. The bags of clothes, kitchen utensils, linens and surplus school supplies I was donating would be a gift to many in need. That’s another compelling reason to part with stuff you’re hanging on to “just in case you need it down the road.” Be honest. You’ll never use those 14 towels stored in the basement, but someone in need will value them.

Like Mary Poppins whose work was done, Alanna’s parting advice sticks with me. “People say to me I need more space. I say, it’s the reverse. You just need less stuff.”

This column originally ran in 2024.