It’s hard to disagree with the fact that the tables are stacked against women in most arenas of life. Most of the domestic workload is shouldered by women, even though more than half of mothers with children at home also work full time. Yet, according to Statistics Canada, women are still earning 10-22 per cent less than their male counterparts — for the same job. How is this even legally possible?

A friend of mine holds a high-level government position, a role she balances alongside the relentless demands of motherhood. When COVID hit, it nearly broke her. During lockdown, the burden of domestic responsibilities fell on her shoulders while her husband continued working outside the home, undisturbed.

Overnight, she found herself with two full-time, essential jobs: managing a household full of children and attending back-to-back Zoom meetings, making critical decisions for the government. And yet, while her kids constantly interrupted her meetings — "Mom, I need help! Mom, I’m hungry! Mom, he shoved me!” — she watched her male colleagues remain undisturbed, their wives quietly delivering lunch in the background so their husbands could focus.

The stark reality was undeniable: her male counterparts had the luxury of undivided attention because they had wives. My friend needed a wife, too.

Here’s the irony of Women’s Day from my perspective. It’s the one day a year when a parade of accomplished women deliver inspirational speeches to rooms full of already inspired women — about how we all need to be more inspiring. It’s an echo chamber. Talk about preaching to the choir.

Meanwhile, the people who hold the power to make meaningful change are nowhere in sight. It’s performative.

Here’s the kicker. Every year, event organizers, many of whom are women, reach out to accomplished women, eager to have them speak — except there’s often no budget. The emails usually start with, “You’re so inspiring! Unfortunately, we can’t pay you.”

See the irony? The dark humour? The kind that makes you either laugh or cry.

The problem isn’t just individual men or women, it’s the system. Some call it the patriarchy, but let’s set labels aside for a moment. It’s not about men being bad; it’s the reality that when you’ve got a good thing going, why would you willingly disrupt a system that benefits you?

So, how do we make International Women’s Day less weird? First, conversations need to happen daily, not relegated to once a year. More importantly, it’s ensuring men are in the room, listening to women’s experiences and recognizing the role they can play in gender equality.

And that’s the real test, isn’t it? In The Good Guys, David G. Smith and W. Brad Johnson argue that true male allies aren’t just the ones who offer encouragement — they’re the ones willing to give something up. Real change happens when men support gender equality, not only when it’s convenient, but when it costs them power, privilege, or opportunity.

Otherwise, Women’s Day remains just another annual ritual — well-intentioned, but ultimately ineffective.

— Erica Ehm is an entrepreneur and one of the original hosts of MuchMusic. She sits on the Flato Academy Theatre’s board of directors and is an occasional writer for Kawartha Lakes Weekly, Kawartha Social, and The Lindsay Advocate.