Agree to Disagree

By Lindsay Advocate

Kawartha Lakes is home to a rich collection of older houses – but what are the pros and cons to living in one? The Advocate's Geoff Coleman and Roderick Benns weigh in on the matter in this month's installment of Agree to Disagree.
Geoff Coleman

New houses avoid old problems

I don’t watch too many horror films but I have never seen blood dripping down the walls of a new house.

Even if a guy in a goalie mask carrying a chainsaw isn’t a concern in your old house, Hollywood tells us that ghosts might be. But ghosts are only old people in old houses – no one has ever said, “I saw her in the laundry room of my bungalow. She was a stylish young mom carrying an iPhone 14.”

Old houses, which sound too much like outhouses, can’t compete with the convenience, safety, and improved building science that comes with a new build. I’m not saying there needs to be 800 of them built in Fenelon Falls, but they are the better option.

After all, no one buys a lot and builds their dream home using old, cracking lumber for the framing, puts in a plumbing system that scalds shower-takers when someone runs water in the kitchen, and installs a grand total of one ungrounded electrical outlet per room with wiring connections that make it look like an improvised incendiary device.

And when buying a new house, you don’t have to decode the real estate ad. You don’t see terms like “rustic charm” (you will hear bats crawling in the uninsulated spaces between studs that may be 24 inches apart. Or 19. Or 27. But probably all three). Or, “vintage style” (the paint definitely contains lead, and that’s asbestos around all the heating ducts).

After spending much of the last year helping renovate an 1850s house, I can see their appeal, but that experience also convinced me a 2024 model is the way to go.

The owner of Vogue, GQ, the New Yorker, and website Reddit probably agrees with me. That’s Donald Newhouse.

Roderick Benns

No Oldhouse ever amounted to anything.

Geoff Coleman is a regular contributor to the Advocate.

Old homes make the best new memories

On the surface, I should be the last person on earth defending the honour of living in old houses. If there’s a household repair issue that needs attention, do not call me. I have the combined handyman skills of a legume and a lurching toddler wielding a Fisher Price hammer.

But here I am, finding myself living in a house that was erected just a few years after Sir John A. Macdonald signed the British North America Act.

My house has character, though. Way more character than those fancy cookie cutters in Jennings Creek or Sugarbush.

And yes, admittedly, realtors sometimes use the word ‘character’ to mean they’re not quite sure how it’s still standing. And yet anyone who visits at my old house implies it has a certain je ne sais quoi. (Even the bilingual folks who know what that means.)

If your back deck is bigger than your back lawn, you know you have a new home. If you open your curtains on your upper floor bedroom window and look out onto a sea of roofs and fences, you are, unfortunately, a new-homer.

If you must walk for your mail to one of those soulless boxes at the edge of your neighbourhood, you have succumbed to the cult of New.

Know where I go for my mail? My front porch. I open my door and it’s just there, thanks to my friendly mail carrier. I sometimes wave to him as he makes his rounds. It’s so darn neighbourhoodish it’s like a Mr. Rogers-Mr. Dressup mashup.

And my yard…my yard is a real yard! There’s enough room to kick a soccer ball without it hitting your fence and smacking you back in the face, which I’m sure is a thing in New Springdale.

So choose new for your toothbrush. But for your home, choose character by finding the perfect older home for you.

Roderick Benns is the owner of Fireside Publishing House.

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