In the immortal words of Elsa, ‘let it go’
As a collector of clothing, I partake in the annual ritual of spring cleaning each year. Pulling out each item, reflecting on whether it represents a version of me that is now in the past – a me I’d prefer to move on from. The whole process has me practicing that mystical art of letting go and got me wondering, should I apply this thinking to more than just stuff? Perhaps relationships should be re-examined with more frequency. Why blindly carry forward anything, or anyone, that could be holding us back?
Easier said than done. People, and relationships in particular, present layers of challenges when trying to let them go. Other people generally add levels of complication and messiness to life that can be difficult to un-entwine. But the company we keep impacts us, no matter how independent and sure of ourselves we may be. If the people around you are constantly complaining, criticizing, or cutting down your ideas, hopes, and dreams, then you’re likely going to feel drained by it at best and give up said dreams at worst.
I’ve let go of my fair share of people over the course of my life, partially because I’m a bit hot-headed, disagreeable, and abrasive, so if we’re going to be friends you likely need a tougher skin. But mostly because I’ve found that holding on to those relationships I’ve outgrown or simply grown away from, is worse for both me and the other person. It leads to more fighting and less rejoicing. More disappointment, guilt, and anxiety, and less connection, trust, and love. And of course, relationships of all kinds come with challenges, presenting you with a choice, to either fight for it and work things through or… let it go. But communication isn’t always fruitful, or a solution. Sometimes an impasse is just that – impassable.
Now, you might be wondering why I’m talking about letting people go and trimming the relationships in our lives at a time when loneliness is our latest epidemic. And it’s exactly for that reason – the idea that human connection is scarce these days – that I’d like to affirm that not all relationships are made equally, not all connections are good for us. Because trying to develop relationships with others with a scarcity mindset usually results in accepting less than we deserve. And we all deserve to have authentic connections and meaningful relationships. Even if that means having fewer great friends that will ultimately have a better impact on our lives, rather than dozens of acquaintances we can’t call when life gets inevitably tough.
Of course, like with all things, balance is key. I wouldn’t want everyone to go ending their relationships left and right with no discernment. But as we grow and evolve, like our style does over the decades, there are benefits to letting go of both the clothes and people in our lives that don’t make us feel how they used to.
